Financial potpourri

On Wednesday, September 10th, during a conversation with a relative visiting from the US, I said, “I feel like we are sitting on the edge of a financial precipice .. something will happen to the markets soon”. Pretty good intuition, huh ?! That very Sunday, came the news of Lehman collapse and kicked off an eventful week. This financial crisis is not something that came overnight. Some analysts (like Nouriel Roubini and Mish, who I’ve been following for more than a year ) have been crying out from their website-tops that this was coming. Its amazing that markets have caught up with reality so late. One would have thought markets would have priced-in all this information well-in-advance of everyone. But no. Only shows that with bit of judgment, its possible to see where things are headed well before the markets do. So much for ‘efficient markets’.

So the whole of my last week is consumed in following the events as they unfold, and Iam in no mood to give my serious two cents on the whole thing. Instead, some sunday humor, anyone ? How about a Letterman’esque Top-10 ? . In the spirit of upholding free markets, and the principle of ‘comparative advantage’, I’ve out-sourced and open-sourced this compilation. As I waded through the financial blogs and discussions, I’ve captured some nuggets from people who still kept their sense of humor alive through the whole thing. Hat-tip to those anonymouses.

Without further ado, lets start the top-10 wisdom-of-the-crowds take on the financial crisis !!

Here we go …………..

BONUS ) Dubya Bush: “The SEC is also requiring certain investors to disclose their short selling, and has launched rigorous enforcement actions to detect fraud and manipulation in the market. Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted “.

GGhhrmm.. (clearing throat) .. Mr.President, i think “prosecuted” might be the word that the writers have actually written for you to read.

Number teennnn) On the ban on short-selling financial stocks, somebody in the street cried out …

“Isn’t this sort of like canceling gravity because the helicopter is out of fuel?”

Number niiiineee) On putting Lehman on the chopping block but bailing out AIG. Any lesson to be learnt ? Yes. Be “too big to fail” .

Today’s lesson from the Fed and AIG:
Never steal small sums.

Number Eiiiiiigghhht) Somebody astutely observed that Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis might actually be literally hiding behind this “too big to fail” theme.

Ken Lewis is thinking ahead. If it wasn’t before, BofA, with Countrywide and Merrill under its belt,
has got to be too big to fail now. Brilliant stroke, Ken.

while on the topic, someone suggested that ..”merged result of Merril Lynch and Bank of
America should be called Lynch America“

Number Seeeveeennn) well, climate change has to be tucked in somewhere, isn’t it ?

The good news is that the sitting guvmint does not believe the world’s ice sheets are too big to fail because their failure will be conveniently deferred to 30-50 years from present. Happy  motoring.

Number Siiiixxxxx) A pragmatic taxpayer ponders what’s in it for him from the AIG bailout..

So let’s say I’m down in the financial district and I gotta take a piss. As a part owner of AIG, can I walk over to HQ and use the facilities? Do I at least get that much out of the deal?

Number Fiiiiiiiivvvveeee) Lets give the mother-of-all-bailouts plan a decent acronym, shall we ?

The Securitized Home Investment Trust (S.H.I.T) shall cure all ills… All in favor say aye…

Number Foooouuuurrrr) Surgeon general advise: Positive frame of mind is good for your health.

Let’s Look on the Bright Side
After the Fed bails out GM and winds up owning 80% of GM, you can go to the Fed, buy a car and
insurance from them all at the same time!
Federal Gov’t – the one stop shopping for mortgage, insurance, autos…

Number Thrrreeeeee) There was a rumor floating around that terrorists might actually be shorting stocks from their bases in London and Dubai, to bring down the US financial empire.

Aren’t the firms going under, the real financial terrorists .. strap themselves with toxic debt and threaten to blow-up the whole economy up if the govt din’t pay ransom bailout …

Number Twwwoooo) A mastercard moment …

a bottle of cheap wine: $10
a plasma television set: $2,000

watching the global financial tsumani: priceless

for everything else… the US Federal Bank

Ladiiieesss, and Gentleeemannnn , now the top wisdom-of-the-crowds take on the financial kablooi …

Number ONNNNEEEEEE) should i pay in dollars, euros, yen or …..

Newspaper clip: “Lawyer suspended for accepting nude dances”

Now there is a man ahead of the curve, why take worthless dollars when you can get something of real value.

… la la la la lala …. ta ta tara ta ta …. na na na na nana ….. ho ho ho…..